Virtual Day of Silence

I woke up with 20 minutes to spare, and I felt super rushed to make sure I ate and grabbed my morning tea. I felt frazzled & anxiety-filled, but it all went away when I logged onto the virtual day of silence Zoom. I saw some members of  my Sangha and took some deep breaths.

It is hard for me to wake up early, but once I am up, it is so nice to appreciate all the sounds and sights of the morning. I set up my chair right in front of my window. The view has beautiful, draping trees, and I could hear the birds chirping away. The sky was cloudy, but the sun peeped in from the left, and I could feel the rays on me as I closed my eyes and began the first meditation block. (Thumbnail picture was my view)

“Half day of silence” is a very powerful and nerve wracking phrase. For me, it can be daunting to imagine me sitting and moving in silence for 4 hours. I am constantly moving and my mind is always racing, and it is hard for me to be calm and sit with myself for a long time.  However, this day was so peaceful and I couldn't have asked for more. I struggled at the beginning to not move, but I slowly relaxed and sat with my thoughts. I had many thoughts, but not too many where I was overwhelmed. Instead, I had thoughts about self-love, my identity, and the hope that I have for the upcoming months. Self-love is something I have always struggled with; worrying about my appearance and actions is a constant. Identity is something I have always struggled with as well. I am a very positive person and sometimes I feel like if I do not feel great on a certain day, I still have to act positive because that is what people expect of me. Lastly, hope for the upcoming months - these past 6 months have been something NONE of us ever expected. With the craziness coronavirus has brought, I try to remind myself of impermanence. “This too shall pass”. I know that this will not go on forever, and I have hope for these upcoming months and years.

This meditation was important to me, and I feel like I learned a lot more about myself. I am on a journey to self-love and eventually want to marry myself. This sounds cheesy, but it symbolizes loving yourself fully before you can love someone else. Thank you Sangha.

By: Jill Sorenson